Monday, November 14, 2005

Gecko Love

I can stand roaches. I have conquered my fear to the extent that I can actually try and attempt to catch a roach by his-whatchamaycallit-whiskers or moustaches or is it antennae? Anyway. But not if it's a big flying cockroach. That's the scariest thing ever.

But lizards? I mean for God's sake! Have you ever seen a lizard from close quarters? They come in all shapes, sizes and colours! Black, brown, yellow, creamy and more! And I have seen them do the most atrocious things ever. Once, when I was waiting at the doctor's, a big wicked gecko came and mercilessly ate a cute lil butterfly on the wall. And I was witness to the whole scene. Right in front of my eyes!
Then there was this another gecko, who once passed something silvery down the wall. I arrived at the conclusion that he pooped. Eeeeeeyyyyyyeeeeewwwwwwww!

This is nothing.

At summer camp, the baddest and biggest gecko came and landed on my left shoulder from nowhere. I don't know how, but I grabbed hold of it and threw it far away. A Herculean task. And I didn't even scream. That's because we had just been dismissed from a briefing our Camp Guide, Korde Sir conducted. You must have met him too if you went to summer camp. A hulk of a man, he's was recently arrested for parading as a fake police officer.
Anyway, when he was speaking, an unfortunate crow had started cawing loudly. And Korde Sir, as was his nature, removed his gun and shot the sad crow. Maybe the crow knew it had it coming. And the poor dear fell from his tree into the well below. In spite of his floating caracass, some greedy students still drank water from the well. We were in the jungle you see. I am glad I did not scream.

I have to stop digressing, lest the geckos feel neglected.

And I once killed a gecko myself. Unintentionally. It got caught in the sliding windows in my balcony. I shrieked my head off like a banshee. It trembled, it suffered, it writhed in agony and it died. I can never forget that. Well, dad used to kill geckos when we were kids. Nine times out of ten, geckos got away and only left memorabilia behind. A thin longish piece that danced before our eyes. Fascinating yet horrifying!

And now, we come to this this truly macabre incident a friend told me long ago. She was at a party. And you know what, a gecko entered her shirt (on the back, sorry to dissapoint you, snicker!). Trust a gecko to do that! The girl twisted her hand behind, caught hold of the gecko in the shirt and ran home. On her way home, her grasp turned to be a strangehold of death for the gecko. She reached home bloodsoaked. It's a miracle she got over that incident. Personally, I would have needed therapy. Long sessions, many sessions. But I can be trusted to pass on the fear of geckos to the shrink too.

Ok, that's enough for one day. I live in mortal fear of lizards. Be that as it is, I still feel that baby geckos look sweet. Yucky, but sweet.
No, I do not ever want a catharsis, ok! Not even if a solitary lizard is remotely involved! Is there a law where geckos can be fined, say, if they come within 1000 yards of you? It's time we did.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home